


The Conditional Tense

by thelightwitch



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fluff, M/M, marriage talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 07:36:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17894219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelightwitch/pseuds/thelightwitch
Summary: “Aren’t you going to ask me if I want to get married someday?” Patrick asks.The question takes David by surprise, because of course Patrick wants to get married. Even if he hadn’t literally been engaged to be married once already, everything about Patrick – from his embarrassing dad shoes to the way he ogles babies in the café – screams Family Man. It’s something David finds inexplicably, magnetically attractive about him – who knew he was so horny for little league dads? The point being, of course Patrick wants to get married. Doesn’t he?--A quick little scene - David and Patrick discuss marriage. Hypothetically, of course.





	The Conditional Tense

“Oh my god David, you are a life saver,” gushes the redhead for at least the sixth time in the last half an hour, squeezing David’s arm and making him wince. “Have I told you what a life saver you are?”

“You have,” David answers with a wide, forced smile, swallowing a sarcastic comment in favor of making amused eye contact with Patrick over the woman’s shoulder.

“Well you are!” she replies, swatting at his arm affectionately. David tries not to shy away this time – people who make unnecessary physical contact outside of close personal relationships are one of his biggest pet peeves, but he can’t afford to offend a big spender like Sonja. Not when she’s just dropped nearly $5000 on preparations for her wedding to Ray’s shockingly hot cousin, Sanjay.

Failing to notice David’s discomfort, the bride-to-be continues effusively, “You know I was talking to my mom back in New York this morning, telling her how this wedding would have been an absolute disaster if I hadn’t found this little oasis of taste out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“That’s us,” David says brightly, biting back a grin at the sight of Patrick’s reaction to this comment – hands stuffed in his pockets and shoulders hunched and shaking with barely controlled laughter, muscles straining against the seams of his navy blue button down.

With some effort, David tears his eyes away from his boyfriend’s shapely shoulders and focuses on the list in front of him. “So the spa kits for the bachelorette party are all set, we’ll have the gift bags for the reception by Monday, and I’m just waiting to hear back from your caterer about the wine.”

“A lifesaver!” Sonja repeats emphatically. Turning to Patrick, she announces, “Patrick, your boyfriend is a _lifesaver_!”

“So I’ve heard,” Patrick replies graciously. He shoots David another amused look.

“Alright, sweetie, I’ve gotta run,” Sonja continues breezily. “I’ve got a nail appointment in Elmdale at four. But I’ll see you Monday?”

Before David has a chance to steel himself for her customary farewell, Sonja is leaning across the counter and depositing a kiss on each of David’s cheeks, complete with a loud, gratuitous “muah, mauh!”

“See you Monday!” David replies with forced cheer, grimacing as she saunters across the room to bestow the same parting upon his boyfriend.

“Have a fun bachelorette party!” Patrick calls halfheartedly as she finally makes her way out the door.

 David waits for the door to click closed behind her before slouching down onto the counter in an elaborate show of exhaustion.

“ _Every day this week_!” he moans, emphasizing each word as if with its own exclamation point. He gives Patrick his best furrowed-brow pout. “We agreed on all of the details about the spa kits _and_ the gift bags” – in his aggravated state he puts a Moira-esque lilt on the _and_ – “over the phone _weeks_ ago! And still she was in here _every day this week!_ ”

“Well how could she resist this oasis of taste in the middle of nowhere?” Patrick teases.

David’s head pops up, followed by one raised finger. “Actually, I kind of liked that.”

“Of course you did, it sounds exactly like something you would say,” Patrick laughs.

“Well, she may be a bridezilla but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong,” David shoots back, pursing his lips to hold back a smile.

“Oh, come on, you are having a great time helping out with this wedding.” Patrick leans his forearms on the table opposite the counter to fix his boyfriend with a knowing look, eyebrows raised. “You can complain about Sonja all you want, but I know you’re loving every second of it.”

“Okay, I am,” David admits, allowing himself a rare full-fledged grin. “Maybe we should branch out, start an event planning service?” He’s only half joking; it’s not the worst idea. Still, Patrick doesn’t take the bait, suddenly fiddling with the already pristinely organized jars of hand cream to his right.

“So…” he says, his tone deceptively casual. “Have you ever thought about it? Marriage?”

Midway through checking the spa kits off of Sonja’s list, David freezes. He feels his eyes go wide, heat rising to his cheeks. Is Patrick really trying to have this conversation right now?

“Relax, David, it’s just a hypothetical question. I’m not proposing.”

David almost chokes on his own tongue at that comment, coughing until his face grows even redder than before, while Patrick looks on with a combination of amusement and apprehension.

“Well then _hypothetically_ ,” David shoots back when he finally regains use of his vocal chords – he makes the word sound extra bitchy, to get back at Patrick for ambushing him – “ _hypothetically_ , I haven’t.”

“I see,” Patrick replies. He glances back down at the hand cream, pretending to study the label, and David feels a twinge of guilt – partly for the bitchy tone, which may have been uncalled for, and partly because his answer was not entirely true. David is a little too inclined, on the whole, to respond defensively to tough emotional questions, but he loves Patrick. Like really, really loves him. So if Patrick wants to have this conversation right now, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the store, then he is going to do his best to be honest.

David begins hesitantly, “I mean, it’s never something I really saw… for myself…before…” He forces himself to look at Patrick, who is still staring down at the hand cream, shoulders hunched and self-conscious. He forges on, “I mean, we both know this is the longest monogamous relationship I’ve ever been in. By like, a lot.”

“I know,” Patrick says, sounding relieved. He looks up at David, with a soft smile and those big, gooey eyes that make David’s heart pound.

Overwhelmed by emotion, David looks down at his clipboard, but continues bravely, “But… my parents have been happily married for, like, millennia, and they’ve been through a lot together and weirdly seem to have never wavered in their love and devotion to each other and I never thought I would meet someone who I would feel that way about – and who could feel that way about me. But I guess now that I have I can see wanting something like that.”

He risks a glance up at Patrick to see his boyfriend trying valiantly to hide a pleased smile, shuffling the hand creams aimlessly – which in turn makes David feel almost too warm and fuzzy inside, like to the point where he thinks he might pass out or hurl, so he busies himself with finding the appropriate folder for Sonja’s wedding lists and trying not to smile too wide.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I want to get married someday?” Patrick asks.

The question takes David by surprise, because of course Patrick wants to get married. Even if he hadn’t literally been engaged to be married once already, everything about Patrick – from his embarrassing dad shoes to the way he ogles babies in the café – screams Family Man. It’s something David finds inexplicably, magnetically attractive about him – who knew he was so horny for little league dads? The point being, of course Patrick wants to get married. Doesn’t he?

“Well, you have been engaged already,” David says slowly, trying to keep his tone and his face neutral (an immense struggle, for someone cursed with such expressive features.) “So that would indicate that you do. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

“I thought I had,” Patrick replies. His hands are shoved uncomfortably in his pockets but his gaze, when David meets it, is frank and open. “After Rachel. For a while, actually. When I first moved here I thought that was one of the things I was putting behind me – that part of myself that thought I needed to get married and start a family in order to be happy.”

“Okay,” David replies, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Did he just concede the painfully personal notion that he would one day want to get married only to find out that Patrick wouldn’t? Did he totally misread this whole situation?

“But a lot has changed since then,” Patrick continues deliberately. “I didn’t think I could ever feel about anyone the way I feel about you, David,” he says and David bites his lower lip and swallows thickly because this is just a hypothetical conversation and it would be really embarrassing if a hypothetical conversation made him actually cry. “And so now I think I understand that kind of commitment in a different way than I did before. That instead of seeing it for everything I thought it had to mean for me back then, I can see it for everything it could mean for us, now.”

David feels a little breathless. “I thought you weren’t proposing,” he laughs wetly.

“I’m not,” Patrick replies, his smile equally watery. “Trust me, when I propose you’ll know it.”

“Okay,” David says, holding up one silver-laden hand and pursing his lips as he swallows back tears. “Okay I really need you to come over here and kiss me now.”

Patrick grins and does as he’s told, crossing behind the counter to wrap his arms around David’s waist and pull him close. David drapes his arms around Patrick’s neck and closes his eyes, pressing his lips eagerly against Patrick’s and pouring every ounce of anxiety and adoration into kissing his boyfriend thoroughly.

When their lips part, David doesn’t feel quite ready to relinquish him yet, so he presses his face into Patrick’s shoulder and squeezes him tight.

“I love you,” he mumbles into the smooth blue fabric.

“I love you, too,” Patrick replies.


End file.
